We’re not going to candy-coat it: Divorce can be hard, extremely hard. Even when your marriage is unhealthy and destructive, actually filing for divorce can impact you in many unpleasant ways – it can affect you emotionally and even physically at first, and a stressful divorce can only add fuel to the fire.
While divorce has a bad rap, the good news is that yours doesn’t have to be one of those divorce horror stories. It will most likely draw out some intense emotions, but if you follow our advice, you may be able to achieve one of those “good divorces” that other divorcées will envy. But how do you accomplish this?
The Key to Success
Marriages end for all kinds of reasons. And, we must remember that no one gets married thinking they’ll end up being just another divorce statistic. Unfortunately, when the honeymoon phase is over and reality sets in, life can throw its punches.
Couples can grow apart, careers can take off and build resentment, raising a family can be straining, or substance abuse, incarceration, or infidelity can enter the equation. Sometimes, the pressures of the world come crashing down until the marriage...breaks.
Regardless of why your marriage has ended, a good divorce is within reach and it’s not as hard as most people think. The key to having a good divorce is to set your differences aside and treat each other with kindness and respect.
If you and your soon-to-be-ex can do this, you’ll be on the road to a healthy, positive divorce. It doesn’t mean you have to remain, friends, though that can be very good if you have children, it does mean that you and your spouse agree to get along for the sake of having a positive breakup.
The benefits of treating each other with respect include, but are not limited to:
The divorce will be less stressful;
If you have children, they will do much better than if you were fighting;
A friendly divorce costs less because you avoid litigation;
More of the marital estate is preserved because it’s not wasted on added legal and court fees;
A ollaborativec approach facilities a fair settlement; and
A positive approach helps the spouses think clearly and avoid costly mistakes made out of revenge or spite.
You may not be able to control your spouse’s emotions, but if you start with managing yours, the chances of him or her treating you with respect are higher. Our advice is to be kind and thoughtful and treat your spouse with respect and ask that he or she do the same. If anger, bitterness, jealousy, and spite can be removed from the equation, you’ll be in a much better position to achieve a positive divorce that you can feel good about.